When I decided to share my story of adoption, I realized I would need to talk about the details of the story at some point – like when I would walk two blocks from my house to a pregnancy center for the pregnancy test; and how I would feel after being told; or when I would tell my mother, and how she would respond; or what it was like to go to the first doctors appointment.
I don’t remember all the details surrounding this time in my life. However, certain things trigger the emotions and memory, strumming the strings of my heart that often lead to a sad melody while others just down right hurt. While emotions are what they are, what holds me up every time is that I have never regretted the decision to place Mary for adoption.
Yet still, every year on February 27, I wonder how much more beautiful she is, whether she has pimples, what she wants to be when she grows up, what she is good at, and all the things that stir a mothers heart!
The same block the little girl with skinny legs and un-brushed hair ran down was the same block the afraid and pregnant young lady would walk down to face the reality of her choices. I don’t remember what was talked about or even being told the test was positive. Clear as day, though, I remember standing with a family member as we discussed my options, and her telling me that my beautiful skin would be ruined for the rest of my life by stretch marks, if I had this baby.
When I came to the decision that I would choose adoption instead of abortion, I knew in my heart it was part of the plan, and that indeed the God I learned about as a child was real. I felt a part of something greater than myself and bigger than my 15 year old mind could fathom. I am reminded that God uses our finite minds to weave the infinite plans designed for each one of us. We are not puppets or aimless beings rather creation – purposefully designed for relationship and love with one another and God Himself.
When I left the hospital that day, I wouldn’t have known that years later I would have the privilege of raising 4 children to include two beautiful girls, surely I hoped for this. I didn’t know what the next day held, or that I would still have a long road to pave, but what I did know is that I had made the right decision to not get an abortion.